THE SOCIAL CATALYST

One Day I Will Walk on Water

2012-02-02T01:15:00.001-08:00

This morning as I continue my reading in the book of Matthew, I was disturbed by this question: "Why did you doubt?" (Matt. 14:31b)

After having Peter to walk with Him on water, Jesus asked this question. Most of us know this story, this mind blowing story. I am not sure if any of us, who would be at Peter's similar situation, will be totally sold to the possibility of walking on water with Jesus.

But Peter was so eager to walk on water with Jesus until he saw the wind (v.30), and his faith was challenged.

The rest of my time I spent thinking about the "winds" (and I hope I can list them down as well) in my life. This led to countless questions that dig deeply in the quality of relationship and fellowship that I have with the Lord Jesus.

Do I really doubt? When do I doubt? What makes me doubt? Why do I doubt? How do I deal with my doubts?

What are these winds? How do I deal with the winds? Do I really deal with these winds? Or am I just covering up? Or probably escaping from my winds?

Doubting brings someone into a process of choosing to stay or to leave, to get or not, to buy or not. Normally, when doubt sets in we don't buy, we don't get, we change our mind, our choice, our decision, or we abandon all the pre-identified options. Doubt forces us to think whether we are right or wrong.

There certain decisions in our life, that after doing them, we still doubt. We may also doubt other people's affection towards us, regardless of the degree or nature of relationship we have with them. Sadly, God is not exempted in this doubting attitude. God who is beyond our senses is always being subjected by us to doubting.

Unanswered prayers, never ending struggles, failures, abandonment, absence of love; this can be endless. When we are hurt, we push away. When things fall out of our expectation, we push away. When we fail, we push away. When we feel unloved, we push away. When we struggle with our personal issues, we push away. Normal, understandable,probably.

These situations can push or draw us away from God. Considering human tendencies, I can only look at God's love and grace as a way to keep closer and stay in His presence.

I find this an healthy exercise though. Asking about our faith, roaming around the world of my mind affirms the reality and authenticity of my relationship with Jesus. At the end of the day, I want to have Peter's eagerness to walk with Jesus, on water.

To God be the glory.

My Series: Two of Many

2011-11-30T15:25:00.000-08:00

Heavenly bodies are the simplest pleasures of my life.

Moon, stars, sky, clouds, sun.

Last Monday, captivated by cloud formations, I had one of the best flights ever. The best of what I’ve witnessed, so far. Then, that night, I was so engaged with the moon…as always. (Sad I didn’t have the pleasure of staring at it, like I used to while in Bonifacio building.)

Simple pleasures.

Ulap, kelan ba huhupa ang pagnanais kong mahimlay kasama mo sa iyong paglalakbay?

Ilang minuto bago lumapag ng paliparan ako’y namangha sa isang buong isla ng ulap. Para akong bata, gusto kong pumara at mamasyal sa isla ng ulap. May pond, gubat, grassland, mga hayop; puro nga lang puti. Pakiramdam ko pwede ko na iyong tapakan ng hindi ako mamamatay. Baliw na nga marahil ako, at ikinababaliw ko ang mga ulap.

Pagkalipas ng aking pagkamangha, may mas nakakamangha pang kaisipan ang bumalot sa aking pagkatao.

Suddenly, I saw my life in those clouds.

Clouds are composed of tiny droplets of water, moving towards each other then moving together, to form majestic scenery. At the onset, these droplets of waters are just tiny droplets of water. At the onset they can be meaningless, no shape, no sense; they just keep moving towards each other and keep moving together.

My life, every day of my life, is just a tiny droplet of my life. My infinite mind limits my perspective. I can be happy, sad, routinary, angry, anxious, or scared. Many times, I look at the days of my life in a typical manner. Grandeur is absent; meaning is scarce, in my perspective. But the nearness of God proves otherwise. Thank God, He is infinite. He is the Alpha and the Omega. He knows everything, and HE CARES.

God, in His sovereignty, is creating a beautiful cloud formation out my life. I will look forward then to that day when my life will be a witness of God’s finest architecture.

My Series: One of Many

2011-11-24T06:11:00.000-08:00

Writing without anything to write

Plenty of ideas but I can’t tame them to be shared in coherence. None of them wanted to be volunteered.

This could be my most daring attempt, writing without anything.

Tonight, I will be staring at every word, and hope to arrive at something edifying.

I am supposed to write about Ezekiel. I remember I was very excited to share this. Well, I am suppose to be excited, or am I?

I wish generosity will pay me a visit tonight.

Writing is the most controlled area of my life.

I can hide. I can pretend. I can create an identity. I preach. I release my angst. I speak up. I conceal my emotion in every word. I can be very good, I can be very bad. In writing, I find freedom, personal freedom, I think. But not to be shared, please.

Writing has become my confidant, for years. But those words are hidden…hidden in the abyss. Now I can’t write. Maybe because there is no room to pretend, no chance to hide, no reason to preach, scared to release some angst, hesitant to speak up, or probably my emotion is just so huge that I can’t hide it in words.

I remember some years ago, someone prayed about this hiding thing that I am fond of doing (). I can’t forget that prayer. I am, up to now shocked to have heard that prayer. I only met her while doing my summer class, too short for her to discover that. Definitely, I never shared personal things with her, especially “kalokohan”. Then, I realized God connected us through prayer. Maybe she didn’t know me, but God put words into her mouth to expose me. 

Now, I’ve another realization, I can’t fool anyone in prayer. If I will enter prayer with the right attitude, I can’t go my way. As I try to connect, I will be connected. This could be an opportunity for me to renew my mind (Rom12:2). This is probably part of the “live a life of prayer” thing. Maybe I can wish to write as if I am praying so I could stop hiding and setting lame excuses.

Hostage Drama and Ms. Universe

2010-08-24T16:59:00.001-07:00

The recent Philippine events that made the international community a captive audience prods me to write after a really, really long time.

The hostage drama and the inclusion of Ms Philippines in the Top 5 Ms Universe finalist proved many discontented and reckless Filipinos.

I am sad about the pointing of fingers after what had happened in the Luneta Park last Monday night. It was indeed a very long 12-hour ordeal for the hostages, for the ex-police and for the rescuing team. Many among the audience would like to say their piece, and I fully respect that. Realistically, we can broadcast whatever we want but after that I hope we are also reflecting upon what we can do.

Failures have reasons. In the final analysis, everyone can be victims. The hostage taker was (according to write ups) a victim of injustice. The hostages have the obvious plight. The police officers maybe victims of systemic insufficiencies, or probably surprised that a well-recognized police will do such, or any other reasons that can be pooled. The policy makers can be victims of miscalculation of risks, unforeseen events such as these, or other insufficiencies. The audience are also victims for lack of first hand experiences, or foresight of the consequences.

Few hours after that incident, the Philippines witnessed yet another fight to reclaim a lost glory, the Ms Universe tilt. Our bet ended up 4th, after 11 long years the Philippines once again found a spot in the Top 5. Yet, I read comments that they are not satisfied with the answer of Ms Raj. The point is when did we ever find satisfaction in anything?

Many people have brought home pride for the country, to name a few are Lea Salonga, Manny Pacquiao, Charice Pempengco and all else. Yet we were never satisfied, and we shout about it. Where do we really draw our standards for excellence? When do we really know that we are proud to be Pinoy?

When do we ever forgive the mistakes and failures committed in this nation and by the very important people in the Philippines? I am part of an imperfect family, and we kept rebuilding again and again by forgiving each other and being an active participant to keep it alive. I am part of an imperfect nation, but I choose to forgive this nation and be an active builder in my own way. I am an imperfect person, but despite my imperfection I know I can keep this nation alive.

CONFESSIONS OF A SINGLE LADY

2009-07-07T17:28:00.000-07:00

Being young makes me feel very strong and invincible. I feel to have full of strength that I spend a lot of time at work. I know that I perform my job because I want to bring glory to God. I pray for excellence in my work. I pray for my officemates. I pray for most activities I do at work, even my response to pressures and some possible compromise. Little did I know that in the process my body is having accumulated weakness, until I got sick.

I don’t remember anymore about the last time I had severe fever. Probably for almost ten years I never stayed in bed longer than one day because of fever. Sometimes overnight was enough for a fever visit. Generally, I don’t get sick especially if I’m away from my family. In fact, there are years that I never get sick. But last week (June 26-July 3) is a different week, I cannot withstand the fever. It came without warning and I got tired of drinking medicines.

Since I know I am not sickly, it took me five days before I decided to go and seek medical help (June 30). I thought it was just an ordinary fever I usually had. I hated being sick because that means staying home, doing nothing but sleeping all day. I can’t even read because my head aches and I feel dizzy.

I consulted one of my doctor-friend, and without seeing me, she told me that I possibly acquired A(H1N1). But my other doctor-friend opted to accompany me to the hospital, and so we went. I was so scared to be admitted, I’d rather stay home. I immediately asked God that if possible I don’t want to stay in the hospital even for an overnight stay. However, I still took my pillow with me in case the answer is NO.

At the hospital, they took my blood and had an x-ray. We waited for the laboratory results until about 10:00 pm. During the initial diagnosis, which was done earlier, I was spared from A(H1N1) but suspected of dengue fever. When the lab results were released the doctor wanted another blood test because of my low platelet count.

The next day (July 1) as I was preparing to go back to the hospital for the lab test, I suddenly felt very ill. I know I can’t go back, but I have to and I can’t go there alone, I feel so bad. I chanced on Ate Precy (Evangelista), and she agreed to accompany me. This time I am still afraid that the hospital might admit me. The second lab result cleared me for dengue and all I need to do is obey (drink medicine on time and REST). The last prescription was to drink water.

I was admitted, in Evangelista Medical Center is where I spent my July 1, 2009. This made my healing process easier than staying alone in our house. Ate Precy took another mile and served as my nurse. Grace and Ruth were my prayer warriors. They always pray for my healing, especially during mealtime. This is 101% better than hospital.

Incidentally, I was reading the Book of Matthew. I don’t understand some parts of the book but during the time I was sick, I kept in my heart that Jesus is the only Healer. Jesus heals in different ways, direct or indirect, verbal or by touching. Sometimes, He does not immediately cure (i.e. Lazarus) to manifest greater things about Him. He has His set time and He is always in control.

Everyday, since Day 1 I am expectant that God will heal me. It took how many days but in all those days He never failed to remind me that He will heal me, and so I never lose hope. (Right now I am 99.99% recovered)

God, who is in control, simply want to open my eyes and understand Him all the more. Yes, I struggled with pain because He did not immediately heal me but He allowed other people to bless me. He wants me to see Ria (my roommate) is very much concern about my condition; that she is willing to sacrifice a portion of her time to serve me. He allowed me to feel the thoughtfulness and concern of my officemates. He allowed me to be blessed by Dr. Marian, by bringing me to the hospital despite the fact that she’s also tired from her hospital work. He allowed me to be blessed by the Evangelista family as they took care of me. He opened an opportunity for me to be blessed by my Dgroup. All the while I thought they didn’t care but they do. I found a cheap and good hospital. During the time I was sick, I had generous time with Tiny (ex-cadet). I’ve wanted to see him and talk to him. And guess what, God gave me all the time.

I all these things I am greatly blessed. And I could have missed to see all these if God had healed me earlier. I praise God for allowing me to experience pain but also allowed me to see the people around. July 2 Nanay arrived. She very well know how to take care of me. I thank God for Nanay, I just can’t imagine life without her. Ate Precy was able to share the Gospel to Nanay and she prayed to receive Christ. Amazing!!! Praise God. I have been praying for that day to come, it’s been years of prayer and the answer just came. WOW!

That Sunday July 5 I brought Nanay with me in CCF. That was not the first time I brought her to church but it was my very first time to see her positive response while we were attending the service. Words are not enough to describe the awe I felt. God was just so amazing!!!!!

I never regret being sick for more than a week. This is the first time in my life that I enjoyed being sick. Words may not be enough to thank God, but in my heart I am deeply moved. I am not worthy of the blessings but by His grace He made me worthy. I seek forgiveness because I know in the process I have sinned before God. I just praise God that my sins have already been forgiven and nailed at the cross. To Jesus Christ be all the glory. Amen.

LESSON LEARNED:
ü Keep a servant heart
ü Obey
ü Listen to God
ü Stewardship of the body
ü Discretion
ü Don’t be afraid to rest

Para sa mga batang pinagkaitan ng laya...

2009-04-13T23:37:00.000-07:00

Nilikha ka ng kapusukan o pagmamahal,
Nagbungang buhay ay binuhay,
Ngunit nakakubling buhay ang buhay.

Hinabing istorya’t isiniwalat,
Pangsikil sa layang dapat,
Pangtakip sa walang hanggan,
Pangsinop sa katotohanan.

Musmos ma’y dapat lumaya,
Nang matutong magpalaya.
Kahihiyan ipagparaya,
Kapalit ng paglaya.

Nakakalunos na paslit,
Binigyang buhay,
Ngunit ninakawan ng laya
At karapatan.
Marapat pang kitlin,
Kaysa habang buhay bilanguin.

isang pagsilip sa sarili

2009-03-20T22:10:00.000-07:00

Dapat nga ba talagang sadyain ang pagkakaibigan? O pwede nga bang sadyain ang pagkakaibigan? Hindi kaya ito magiging simpleng ekspresyon na lang ng “hypocrisy”

Sa aking pananaw ang pagkakaibigan ay arbitrary. Nangyayari ito kahit hindi pagplanuhan. Bahagi siya ng tinatawag na natural instinct ba yun? Mayroong pwersang parang nagdidikta sa swak-ness nang personalidad ng mga indibidwal. Kung wala ang pwersa na yon, pwede kayang pilitin ang sarili?

Marahil sa pagdaan ng panahon, given the chance to lower one’s pride, magtutugma din ang personalidad. Thus, maaring magsimula sa pilitan ang lahat pero dapat tunawin ito ng pagpapakumbaba at malawak na pang-unawa.

(reminder sa aking sarili, para maging mas friendly ako hahah)

What will I do when I get thirty?

2009-02-18T15:22:00.000-08:00

I was approaching twenty when I told my Father that I wanted to be married at 35. And until now his reaction to that statement reverberates in my ears. I never expected a violent refusal from Tatay, though I know that he won’t agree with my idea.

Two years later I pegged it to 28. However, I felt so impatient to wait for seven years so I changed it to 26. In mid-2008, in the midst of doldrums I thought it best to be at 29, and so its 29 until this moment.

While waiting for this day to come, I am painting the man that I wish to spend my life with here on earth. Every moment that the thought of getting married comes to mind, I am reviewing my “qualification”.

Simultaneous with this, people around keep nagging me of the absence of the man that fetches me after office, which accompanies me whenever I have to do my grocery and all sorts of alibi that they may think of. I can’t tell them that based on my list, I haven’t found him yet. His face is still hidden in haze.

To be fair with the one I am waiting for, I do my part. I am praying for ‘him’ every time the thought comes in. And I pray for my self also, that I will be prepared to spend my life with him; that I will not resist a bit. At the same time, I am praying about my personal baggage, that I will overcome them or at least learn to manage them. I spend time in value formation and relationship building. I study the do’s and don’ts between man and woman in a relationship. I study gender differences. And I am taking time to visit parenting textbook. I listen to married people as they discuss real life experiences with their partners and how they get through it; all these and many other things that I do in preparation.

And there is the WHAT IF sound at the back of my head…

So what will I do when I get thirty?

Many might think that all my efforts will be wasted soon after thirty. But I think otherwise. It could be that my waiting will not come to pass but my preparation will never be wasted because I never wasted time to begin with. God will never leave me empty-handed. God’s work will never be in vain.

And when I am thirty, I will pass on whatever I learned to people who are also building themselves. It will be another chapter, and I am sure it would be as exciting as the 20s.

30s is a prime spot to train and mentor people in the 20s who are trying to gain their base. A decade of career search and so much trailblazing will be an impetus to lead others. Indeed, life never ends when our personal plans end. God have said it, many are the plans in a man’s heart, but the Lord’s plan shall prevail.

Foundation

2009-01-25T05:50:00.000-08:00

The most awaited inaugural speech of US President Barack Obama was just heard. The absence of my access to hear it live left me with youtube.com. Thanks to the prompt response to upload it and thank God for the internet technology.

In the most hailed President’s speech I didn’t find the super-extravagance that some might have expected. The highfalutin words didn’t show up, practically no mesmerizing statement instead it is simply an account about his plans and how he is going to do them.

Taking into account the state of the United States today and the impact of the crisis upon its people, every promise that Pres. Obama will utter would mean so much to them and enough to make them shout. Right now, people in the US and even other nations are hopeful about his leadership; that he will overturn the present political system and in turn would affect many. Countless are leaning upon his leadership.

As he enumerates his plans I can hear shouts of hope as if Pres. Obama is the end of the line. His promises ranges from social security, education, health security, jobs, environmental concerns, energy sufficiency, and many other things contained his list. Well, with the worsening economic condition, I can’t blame them. They really need a messiah that will pull them out of the current crisis.

The Philippines is not an exemption to the hopeful for Pres. Obama as he takes over the presidential seat in the White House.

As predicted 2009 will allow the Philippines to experience the crisis which was initially felt in the US. Many have fret about this predictions. Many are expecting economic downturn.

Although the ability of Obama to reduce the crisis may help us through the globalize nature of economic policies that he might pursue, holding on to his promises alone may leave us losers in the process; because in the end he will prioritize his people. I believe the more pressing concern right now is the way we manage ourselves. Also, it is high time to anchor our security into more certain things than end up dependent on external forces.

senses...

2009-01-14T17:29:00.001-08:00

Time ticks continuously, it runs unnoticed. I’ve been sitting here for more than two hours, doodling and babbling, and sometimes I do at the same time. I am currently not at peace but I hope to ease this and move forward.

For almost a week, I have been reviewing the education programs and projects here in our office. Amazingly, there are efforts in fact to arrest the condition of education in the country. On the contrary, during my morning and afternoon walks to and from the office, I find kids on the streets asking for alms, amassing the garbage for food, sleeping anywhere; I practically witness anything but manifestation of poverty: HUNGER.

I am lying in the midst again. While I am prodding myself to work with education programs and projects to respond to the literacy issues of children in this country, those children are out there not minding about their literacy but more focused on their physical longings.

The social issues are complex but intertwined. The psychology of man is even greater than that.

I AM WATCHING YOU DAD...

2009-01-13T21:13:00.000-08:00

Marky Cielo

2008-12-07T15:54:00.000-08:00

It grieves my heart to welcome this day with the death of a fine young man who fought by standing firm for the cause of the indigenous peoples, the Igorots.

Watching him excel in "Starstruck" I am, at the same time witnessing the pride in the eyes of his folks men while I was in Mt. Province. I can see that they long for this kind of representation.

The experienced discrimination served as his motivation to continue the fight for his people.

I do not know him personally but I enjoyed how much he did it to the top.

In a positive note, we learned our lesson. Discrimination is an issue that we need to conquer. He passed away but he left a legacy for his fellow Igorots.

Receiving has responsibilities

2008-11-19T18:00:00.000-08:00

Before I end up bored with the unending debates in that cold room, someone caught my attention with this line "receiving has responsibilities".

I was reminded on my answered prayers. Whenever God positively responds to my prayer, I simply thank God. But I never deeply thought about the responsibilities that arise with the blessings.

I passed the LET

2008-11-16T19:44:00.000-08:00

Despite the stress in my work. I managed to smile.

I can't miss the opportunity to express my gratefulness to God.

Once again He created a miracle in my life.

I hope to post my article on LET experience.

Indeed, God unveils mysteries in our lives.

Praise God. To Him belong all glory, honor and praises.

http://inquirer.cdnetworks.us/inquirer/examresults/TEACHER_SECONDARY/TEACHER_SECONDARY__B.htm

Sunday in the office

2008-11-15T21:32:00.000-08:00

Sunday, is the Lord's day.

This is also my official rest day.

And I wanted to really respect this.

Today is Sunday...and I am in the office. Instead of the regular schedule I am at work.

This is the first but I think this will not be the last.

absence

2008-11-12T18:51:00.000-08:00

It's been two months that I longed to drop by and utter a few words. Everyday I am in front of the computers, in fact even at home.

My topics are piling in my folder. I can't steal time to finish them.

This is making me sick.

Christmas is coming. I could be all the more sick.

I COOKED PASTA

2008-09-18T01:26:00.000-07:00

I went home late last Wednesday due to the proposal that we are earnestly concluding. Without putting into mind my exhausted body and the books that I must read, I proceeded to pre-cook some pasta while having my dinner. After dinner, but still cooking pasta, I opted to prepare the other ingredients. Thank God I managed to browse my reading before eventually resigning to the promptings of my eyes.

Although I slept beyond what my alarm clock dictates, still I woke up with enough time to prepare food. In a very rare situation I suddenly prayed while cooking my so-called “blow-out”. I simply dedicated the task to the Lord and prayed for the people who will partake of the food. I ended up serving two types of pasta.

While sharing the food with my officemates, compliments and gratitude inundated the area. They were amazed on how I managed to prepare two types of pasta. They were delighted by the idea that I can cook. Some of them jokingly told me that I could now get married. With gratitude in my heart I receive all their reactions and I pray that they were blessed beyond the food that I have prepared for them.

After the food sharing, I felt joy inside. Indeed, it is greatest to serve God than anyone else. Also, in silence I know I was able to celebrate the birthday of my Nanay and former boss and mentor, at the same time it is a special celebration for my Lola, whom I really missed.

The Cycle

2008-08-21T16:08:00.000-07:00

My desire to visit Mindanao sprung in my young heart with constant exposure to progressive songs during my childhood. I personally wanted a real experience of Mindanao, not just in a tourist state, but in a fellow state.

The luxury of sitting down with media facilities everyday gave me an "opportunity" to witness the miserable state in Mindanao area. War broke again in the land of promises.

The present war in Mindanao led me to tears, and constant distress. There's nothing new in it. It is still a fight for territory, rights, identity and recognition. It goes on for days, weeks, months, years, decades, and centuries. It is tiring for both the audience and participants. Indeed, it is a tiring journey and struggle awarded from generation to generation. The actors and actresses change but the strivings are the same; plus-minus the lives that were laid in exchange.

I hope the next capping of guns would be the end...Well it is just my hope, it may not happen but at least I hoped and prayed for it...

2008-08-21T16:03:00.000-07:00

I've seen the rapid and intense fluidity in this world, and if one's faith is not anchored in a solid ground, the self simply breaks away. God made known Himself to me as my rock, my sure foundation.

2008-07-24T23:52:00.000-07:00

Soon as I reached the last stair step of our building flat, the place was entouraged by the mighty showers from the sky. The cascading raindrops is escaladed by the communing rays of the sun. Suddenly, all the tiredness that my body stored went flop.

It was a very short welcome but a momentous one.

Driver's Journey

2008-07-22T01:26:00.000-07:00

The catapultic forward movement of prices almost led me to callousness; refusing to be in-touched with the everyday economic development. Almost everyday, when Filipinos wake up a leap in price completes their breakfast and that may make them not have breakfast at all.

In this home of PUV-dependent people, the system does not seem to cater the needs of the transportation providers that serve as transfer lines of commuters. Upsurging prices brought the clamor for fare increase. Thank God the "favor" fell upon the drivers. However, regulatory measures prevent them to taste the victory that they waited for. The inability to procure the fare matrix hinder the drivers to collect the necessary fee. Apparently, acquiring fare matrix takes a very long process and really costly, giving additional burden to operators and drivers. Everyday, whenever I ride jeepneys, I can see that many still do not have the fare matrix.

Life, indeed, is ironic...

...paving a way for this...

2008-07-17T18:06:00.000-07:00

Many people I knew tend to regard me as man-hater, some of them also doubt my gender preference. Little did they know that in my inmost being I have kept few men that I really admired, their memories I have treasured so much.

Right now I am feeling a sudden infatuation to one of them, which I have known since college. I used to express my admiration to this person and share this with some friends however nobody believed me.

His voice has captured me and I long to hear it. Much deeper than this, the way he values life are spirit-lifting to me. Learning from this man tickles idealism and the way to make it real. His passion for art provoked my romantic tendencies. His desires are definite and he pursues them with passion. He inspires me by his simplicity and meekness. He maybe physically petite but he possesses gigantic heart for service, life and values.

How I long to see him again and spend intimate moments of intellectual stimulation with him.

BLOGGERS VIRTUAL HAVEN

2008-07-06T22:24:00.000-07:00

Pinoy Bloggers Come Together at Ebloggers.phThe countless members of the Pinoy blogger's community has just been presented with a new blogger's forum solely committed to benefit them. Mr. Joedel Sanvictores launched Ebloggers.ph - Bloggers Forum for Pinoys last July 3, 2008. It is a forum motivated to grant the Pinoy blogger any service that would make web writing more comfortable and even rewarding. The primary benefit of the forum is that it gives way to an easy and uncomplicated system of meeting and creating networks with fellow Pinoy bloggers. It may well become the headquarters of Pinoy bloggers all over.Members can make posts regarding their latest blog entries and other users within the forum are free to link up to any of the blogs that they wish to visit. This way, members of the forum are not merely able to endorse their own blogs but are also able to promote the blogs of other members in the forum. This is a mutually satisfying relationship because members can help each other publicize their own blog sites.Ebloggers.ph is also the place for bloggers looking to earn money through their blogs. The forum contains threads and topics reserved for discussing and learning about how members may convert their web literature into cash.The new forum opens its doors not only to the experienced bloggers but also to other enthusiasts who have never tried blogging but are interested to learn. Blogging tutorials are provided in the site as well as countless tips about blogging from other members who wish to share their blogging expertise.

-- http://JoedelSanvictores.com/ in Real Life!

MY LIFE WITH JUNE...

2008-06-30T18:04:00.000-07:00

Praise God for the courage that He has blessed me to share into writing the experiences I had for the past 30 days.

Yes, it had been 30 days since I had my most coveted 24th birthday and my official unemployment date.

Praise God for giving me strength and courage to face , go through and endure a 30-day (and more than that) unemployed period. Considering my condition , especially to those whom I have shared my life and principles with, becoming unemployed will never be easy.

I left Baguio to spend my 24th birthday with my family in Cagayan; after a year of separation with most of them. Along with that I have with me a decision to stay in Manila and start a new job, hoping to have it as my career path.

The decision to leave Baguio was not instant; it was neither easy. It went through months of "trial" and prayers. Although I am praying that God will send me in Tarlac or somewhere near, I also opened my perspective for other possibilities like anywhere in the Philippines. While seeking for new directions and applying for my next job, three invitations came in Mindanao, Bulacan and Manila.

Because I will never bat an eyelash for Mindanao, I needed to seek affirmation from my family. Immediately, everybody did not agree so I have to dismiss this option, although deep in my heart I am agonizing.

Several invitations from Manila came in, but I seriously considered only one because of so many reasons. After my birthday, I went to Manila to face the decision that I made.

When I traded Baguio for Manila, I felt like trading friendship for principles. It is a topsy turvy twist that I myself do not understand. I am confused. My last few days in Baguio is a life lived in pain. Even before I left only few of my friends gave their blessings; until I reached Manila I can only hear discouragements. Because of these, at some point I thought I am blinded by my disobedience. Most of of my friends are discouraging me to stay in Manila and warning me of the dangers that I will face. I know Manila is a dangerous place but this does not threaten me to the point of backing out.

During my first week of June in Manila many consequences did not turn out to be favorable to me, as I expected them to be. My chosen job Manila did not prosper, not even my most awaited job in Bulacan. Because most of my friends are still not-in-favor-mode during that time, I thought I am being punished by God. I expected to be under curse in the following days. Along side, I lost hope and I felt miserable.

After a very "unsuccessful" week in Manila, I decided to stay in Tarlac for my second week. Many have encouraged me to go back to Baguio but I chose not to. I needed a neutral place at that time, a place where I can re-organize my shattered pieces. While in Tarlac, I went back to my very first job, selling. Simultaneously, I am submitting my resume everywhere while during afternoon I am busy with jobstreet. Many times, I was tempted to go back to my comfort zone (Baguio), fleeing from the ghosts of my life.

A week of staying in the market and selling made me realize and appreciate even more the sovereignty of God. Also, I saw my importance even more as a child of God, that God will prosper His children. I remember a few fights with my Bespren. She reminded me that as we pray for our wants, let us keep in mind that only God's plan will prevail. Although this was said in a very different context, it made me remember the teaching and HR positions that I really prayed for, which apparently, were not granted.

On the third week, I decided to go back to Manila. This time I have my confidence recharged. I just trusted God and put into mind that He is in control. I consider every day as operating according to His plan. I simply enjoyed each passing day - preparing for pre-employment exams and interviews, dressing up and preparing my documents. I have failed many exams and interviews and I have won some. However, every day I wake up under God' grace armed with renewed vigor and confidence. Indeed, everyday is a miracle from the Lord.

Fourth week my job hunt life continues. As I've shared to Bespren, I am enjoying it. I know even in applying for jobs I am serving God; I am worshiping God.

Last weekend, June 28-29, 2008, was spent with the Evangelistas. It is an overwhelming joy to see them. The family, especially Ate Precy, simply affirmed me. Despite the trials and tests I experienced here in Manila, I felt assured that God is not actually punishing me, He is just teaching me His ways and not my ways.

Maybe you are expecting me to tell you that I have a job already. Well, officially none yet. But I know God is preparing my heart and He already promised a seat for me.

It is so amazing how God has crushed my self only to put it back again, Himself. Again, He simply wanted me to go back to the basic and ask this question: "Who is God in my life?"

The 30-day period just ended. Every day God make sure that I am becoming a better and stronger person. He does not miss any opportunity to reveal Himself to me. I know this is just the beginning, I have yet to unravel the mysteries why God allowed me to get in this place, in the JUNGLE, as some of my friends referred to. One thing I am certain, the work of the Lord will never be in vain.

(originally written on June 30, 2008)

CAPTIVATED....again

2008-06-26T22:31:00.000-07:00

Sitting by and mystified by the seductive wind breeze. I am mesmerized by the sight of a daring sun, kissing the edge of the sea in the horizon. The vastness of the sea conveys power and magnitude. The untiring ebb and flow of water pampers the tiny sand of the sea. The smoothness and gentleness of the sea has conquered me. But beyond that I am captured by their unity - sea, sun and sand. Although separated by differences and distances, they manage to reach out and maintain intimacy.

(written while taking a pre-employment exam in Landbank head office, overlooking Manila Bay)

…affirming the gift…

2008-05-12T11:09:00.000-07:00

Since high school Mother’s Day remained a special occasion for me. I have this unfathomable feeling whenever this special day for mothers arrives.

The passing years and the expanding social networks made me understand that motherhood is a gift, a very special gift.

Every person born destined to be a woman cannot be certain of her calling for motherhood. God in His own mysterious and sovereign way appoints motherhood. The intricacies of a woman are wonderfully designed but the position of becoming a mother is especially honored.

All women are created with their uterus in them but not all of them will have regular menstrual period, a critical aspect to conceive. All women can choose to get a husband but not all can conceive. Some women may experience conception but not all will give birth. A few may give birth but still miss the opportunity to become mothers. Many women are blessed with a number of children still many of them missed becoming a mother.

The stories of Hannah in I Samuel and Sara in Genesis are keeping my mind wide awake right now. Sara took a lifetime before God eventually opened her womb. Hannah experience great suffering and an advance dedication of her child to the Lord, then finally God blessed her womb. Two stories that moved me; indeed, it takes a great miracle from an all-powerful God to carry life in one’s womb.

Motherhood is indeed a precious calling. It is a privilege. It is an honor to become a mother. Motherhood goes beyond the conception and giving of birth, it is not even the start of it. Motherhood comes to life when we understand the true meaning of becoming a mother. Absolutely, motherhood has no formula, because in itself it is a life; a gift.

…the journey I would not want to miss…

2008-05-07T01:26:00.000-07:00

I FELT A DIRE NEED TO POST THIS: the following article or say some parts of it was published in SY 2006-2007 in one of the Ti Similla issues, a publication of University of the Philippines Baguio. Revisions were made.

I started my teaching career when I was still in grade school. My first students were my siblings. I guided them to read and write letters. I also facilitated them in writing their names. Counting activities and story telling were also part of my duty. My little blackboard and hardly earned chalk were with me during this short mission.

Teaching runs in my veins since childhood. It is a vocation that I started to experience early in life. Gurong Pahinungod Program (GPP) once again allowed me to have more chalks and be with now a bigger blackboard but with a greater responsibility. This program led me to repaint an almost forgotten past.

I prayed for a teaching career but I never wished to be with high school students. But the Lord was really wise for leading me into a path I never wanted just to show more of myself and of Himself.

Being a Gurong Pahinungod (GP) is a life changing experience. It touched every aspect of my life—emotional, psychological, mental, social and spiritual. Living in a community where I am a complete stranger melt down whatever arrogance I have. It left nothing but humility and ability to understand in a wider perspective. It renewed me as an individual. This affirmed me all the more. It has stretched my faith and exhausted my skills and revealed my unknown talents. Thus, it became a re-creation of my self. GPP showed more of who am I. It unleashed my capability to see and evaluate my weaknesses and fears and most especially to conquer them.

Gurong Pahinungod is not a perfect experience. It is not smiling and laughing moments at all times. There are times that I got really mad. Some instances I wanted to quit and live my life. At times I got very frustrated. And there are moments that I find myself kneeling down before the Lord, crying out loud hoping that it will reach heaven, but I believe all my prayers have reached God. But the bottom line is I learned. I learned that servant hood requires your whole life. It is a bitter sweet experience that we will face. But after that the rewards are in heaven.

A year of volunteer work made me realize that teaching does not stop when your students could decode the word, recognize the word, or even understand the word. In reality teaching does not end; it’s infinite. Even separation could not break the process, it is a transcending duty. I am not only a giver but also a recipient of learning. If I could inflict change to just one life I know the sacrifices are worth giving, for just one year.

I thank the Lord for bringing me into this point of my life. A point where I do not only teach, but I’m being taught as well; a point where I could see life in its most colorful state; a point where I could say that I have tried to crossed the lines from selfishness to selflessness; a point where I could agree with Rizal that the youth are the hope of this nation; a point where I could say that my generation could make a difference.

I did not emerge from a wealthy family not even from upper middle nor lower middle class; probably, I am from one of the lowest decile in the society. You might find this strange or same may even address this as insanity. If that would be the case I’m choosing to be crazy being a servant of my fellow than to be sane yet lacks profoundness.

NEXT BET

2008-04-22T02:40:00.000-07:00

ATTENTION: Read the link before reading the article, to contextualize this post. Thanks!

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/nation/view/20080422-131998/Crush-causes-of-insurgency-not-rebels

For weeks I have been problematizing the strategies of the government in dealing with the numerous crises that bombard the Philippine archipelago from sun up to sun down.

In the event of succession for PNP chief, the contenders will have their chance to express the plans for Philippine issues that concerns them.

The issue of insurgency in the Philippines is a stagnant subject matter in the archipelago. The desire to put off this movement has caused bloodshed all over the Philippines.

Reading through the statements of Deputy Director General Jesus Verzosa, I sensed some hope for the issue of insurgency. Instead of declaring war against the insurgents, he instead declared a rather hopeful strategy. Rather than bloodshed, he chose to cull the reasons of insurgency. What a statement from an officer, who wanted to pursue understanding than waste ammo in the battlefield, chasing one after the other.

Indeed, this country is tired of wars in the mountains and plains. The nation needs a more rational, real and objective pursuit of dealing with the crises. It’s high time to put a cap on the ammo and trace other paths other than engaging conflicts forever. The life that breathes inside each nation needs much more that the ideology that people are dying for.

I hope that those people sitting in ivory towers will follow the same path. We can never stop insurgency by killing the people who are part of it but we can put of the flames the keep insurgency burning by listening to the people, knowing their needs and their reasons for rebellion. Wars against insurgency will just rise up more insurgents; it will never silence it. thus, we must turn around our approach in dealing with this issue.

TEMPTATION OF DEEP THOUGHTS

2008-04-17T21:26:00.000-07:00

takdang sumuong sa misteryo ng katahimikan at pag-iisa

bugso

2008-04-17T19:55:00.000-07:00

Bumubulwak ang hangin, kasaliw nito’y himig na nakapanghihilakbot, may hatid rimarim ang bawat pagpatak ng hangin.

redeemed

2008-04-17T19:34:00.000-07:00

Sinimulan kong isatitik ang aking isipan nang huminto ang pluma. Nilagyan ko ng diin and pagsulat; padiin nang padiin hanggang sa tumagas ang dugong nagsadula ng aking kasaysayan.

EARLY MORNING THOUGHTS

2008-04-04T17:31:00.000-07:00

April 5, 2008. A few hours ago I’m contemplating to write a blog on anything about what I feel, or what I think. I’ve tried opening a word document and doodle around. My mind has a lot to offer but I can’t proceed. I can only give until three sentences and my thoughts will start to swirl around, until I bumped into Ate Kiana’s blog.

It is exactly 12 months past since the last time I held a chalk and played it around my fingers. 12 months had past since I rushed on the grades that I have to submit at the same time my co-teacher was bargaining for me to pass all her advisees.

I miss every single thing about being in a classroom, managing your own class; sharing life and ideas; sharing time and life’s experiences. I miss waking up very early in the morning to prepare for my class and staying up really late to evaluate my classes. I miss my life that revolves around textbooks, exams, lesson plan, notebook and all. I miss my life inside the classroom. I miss those people I have shared my life with.

My eyes are pretty teary. At some point, I thought life was so unfair. I never choose to quit but life made me quit leaving all the passion for teaching behind. At first I can’t reconcile God’s reasons for letting me do something and forego of what I really like. I can’t imagine how I managed to cross that part of my life, leaving behind the life that I want.

Now I am in crossroads again. I can grab a chance to go back to this life that I’ve missed. Now I get to understand God. He wanted me to stand firm on what I really wanted to do. Wherever place I’ll go, I’ll choose that path I chose before. I opt to remain a teacher, to share life with people who have the same thirsty spirit as I am. God in His own mysterious ways wanted me to realize the thing that I really want; giving me a clear and definite direction on my way towards it.

Indeed, God owns the secret things in life and it’s up for Him to reveal them in His desired time. Praise God for making me see this in the bleak point of my life. We may not understand Him at some point, we may get annoyed in His process of teaching us but He will definitely deliver us and teach us upon His sovereign design.

THANKFUL DESPITE OF….

2008-04-02T01:34:00.000-07:00

Growing up in our neighborhood was never easy for me. I grew up in a community where most of our neighbors are going abroad to find for greener pastures. Luckily they did; they stumbled upon places of milk and honey.

Materially, their families were able to achieve what they want. Envy of this condition and desperate to provide us with a better life, my mother tried moving her way as well. My father inclined to follow his ideals never approved of that. At that age, I was confused my mother was I think overly submissive to our father missing the opportunity to follow her wants and desires, especially for her. Consequentially, my mother and father have to remain sellers all their life while our neighbors are enjoying life here and abroad, materially.

As the years are passing, the leaves falling from the branches that keep them, slowly our shy community started to expand. I observed house renovations here and there. I could see our neighbors acquiring assets, one thing we were greatly deprived of. I still remember we had a television because my aunt gave us one and that was in 2004, if my memory serves me right.

Because of our economic condition, we were expected to join our parents in the market selling their stuffs. Thus, we lived a secluded life. I, being the eldest and a female, was never given the freedom to spend ample time with my friends and visit the places in our small town.

Now, time has allowed me to process everything. The more than two concluded decades of my life made me realize the privilege we had, as a family. Today, an intact family is offered elusively; one thing we enjoyed. You may be together physically but you priorities in life differ. Or it may happen the other way around. This age showed me that living together in one family may last for only less than a decade because young families starts to break away due to economic demands. Thank God we made more than that.

Fathers or mothers going into far places to earn a living, and wanting to provide for their families needs because they are afraid that the society’s expectation will not be met. The Philippine’s dependence to OFW’s escalates yearly because the country cannot provide enough jobs for them.

The results of this search for green pasture are broken homes and broken lives in the neighborhood. Parents, who took the risk, leaving their kids behind, are trustful of their other half to take over all the responsibilities in the household more importantly tending their children. Unknowingly, when they get back they will be surprised with unwanted pregnancies, drug addicted children, out-of-school youth, unfaithful wife/husband, ailing house; and the worst no savings at all.

Building a family structured in a home will never be an easy task. However, repairing a broken family or broken life is a lot hard work than anything else, especially if you don’t know them anymore. Earning a lot in a faraway land may merit you the opportunity to aid a temporal hunger but the loss earned from leaving may mean a long enduring pain.

LESSONS FROM TEACHER VAL

2008-03-28T05:51:00.000-07:00

Teacher Val is a member of our gang. Yes we have a gang but only Mariel knows about it. We meet on Wednesdays in the Evangelista’s mansion. If the gang’s leader is not around which happened to be Manang Precy, we meet elsewhere, in PMA, the other mansion, the joint Paloma-Viaje’s Mansion or else the mansioner/orphanage in Loakan, the Luga’s mansion.

We also see each other on Sundays, to serve our Master and Lover, Jesus Christ. We also meet on Mondays to learn from our co-servant in the Lord, Pastor Erwin and Tita Amy.

I met Val in her peak. She was a positive, learning, maturing, rationalizing and happy-to-be-with gang-mate. Really there are times I get tired of simply listening to her because she everything to say on things and she never gets tired…of talking. I love to tease her though because she knows how to get on with every throw.

Before 2007, ends I went suddenly alienated from Val, I kept it to myself not knowing that I am not alone. The gang is beginning to “gang up” on her, because we “don’t know her anymore.

As gang mates we desire to know whatever she is going through. She had counseling sessions around. I myself even poured out my heart on her because I can’t accept the feeling of not telling her what I actually feel.

We prayed for her at the same time we devoted much time discussing on her condition. Until such time we all got tired and ceased talking/minding about her.

Simultaneously, Val retired from her usual “she”. The merry and talkative Val was missed by everyone. For some time we had a Val who is defensive, moving away and living in silence.

March 23, 2007 I had the chance to be with my gang mate again after two long months of not fellowshipping together. At first, I was hesitant to ask her of anything; honestly I reached the point of becoming uncomfortable whenever I am with her. But, thank God for opening my mouth and letting me speak and listen to her once again. What a wonderful and glorious time it is. i saw that Val that I used to know. The vigor went back; the merry, talkative Val was back. She shared her lessons from the Lord; she narrated how much she struggled during those times that she doesn’t understand what she was going through.

Indeed, there are times that we long to understand people not knowing that these people we want to understand are also themselves don’t understand what they are going through. God really has His way of forcing us to focus upon Him. He will detach us to the point of shoving us away from our earthly treasures simply to put us back in His arms again making us know that He alone is the source of our joy.

In this age, where education and knowledge are both most held God in His mercy and grace puts His hedge of protection upon us not to be swayed from earthly materialism. Instead He will put us into a vacuum where in the final sense we will never doubt His authenticity in our lives. Indeed we can never understand all these things. It is only our sinful nature supported by evil’s doings that blinds us to keep on explaining the unexplained.

The experience of Teacher Val made a warning sign on my part. I don’t need to understand and explain things. I should let God open my mind and heart to understand His works upon all things putting forward in reverence His sovereignty over al things.

Praise God, I had the honor to be the first to embrace Val on her birthday. Also I had the honor to ask forgiveness to her for I have uttered words during her times of trial instead of asking God to open my heart and mind in understanding her.

BATCH REUNION...

2007-11-04T23:32:00.000-08:00

It has been three months since I had this desire to have a batch reunion for our high school class. As a response to my desire I immediately contacted people whom I know and I believe they can be of help for this pursuit.

This initiative freezed for some reasons. But lately, the campaign went on again and the network is becoming wider. I am happy to know that many are interested for a reunion and I came to realized that this event only needs one person to push through.

Since many are becoming involved I want to help my self up by establishing a data base. First, keep track of the people who already signified their interest. Also, to have a record of who else should I contact. At the same time, this would facilitate the whole event.

I am really getting excited as people sign up. So I started building the data base. One by one I entered the names of my batchmates. As I encode their names, suddenly some of them I recall by name, some I recall by their faces and the experiences I had with them. Since our school is so big and we have a big population, unfortunately, many I cannot remember. But I know during the reunion I will get to know them and so they are. My identity will be revealed.

As I go with the list, I went into a sudden but trembling experience. Let me give a short background. We have a class shirt, where our names were posted; it is located at the back of the shirt. Due to my excitement with the list, I started to write the name of my high school classmates. I am getting confused as I commence the process; I realize that I cannot remember all their names. So I went to my friendster account since I posted the picture of our class shirt where the names are written. To my amazement, even as I looked at the names, still I cannot recall some of my classmates; and to top it all, even my peers and friends I cannot remember.

Thinking through what had happened and why did it happened. I immediately attributed this to the seasonal short term memory loss that I am experiencing. But I really tried to think had, till I ended up admitting the sad truth.

I usually say that college life is the most beautiful experience I ever have. My friends will immediately contradict my statement for they believe that their high school life is the best. As I recall, I rarely share high school events that I had, yes I rarely do.

Honestly, I envy people who have established connections with their high school friends, because I don’t have. I never had. My life in our town is rather different. It is not the same as those of my high school “friends”. I never had time with them. I real fun time like the stories that I have encountered. I don’t have the luxury and liberty of time that they enjoyed.

During my teenage years, these include college days that I spend in our town (I studied away from home), while my batchmates are busy, having grand time with themselves I am at the market, selling, earning a living. While they are inside the malls during weekends, I am attending the house chores and my siblings’ needs. On summer breaks, while they are visiting each others houses, I am in my relatives’ place having vacation. So how can I know them? How will I establish friendship? I remember my friends used to adjust to my schedule by spending time with me in the market while I attend to my responsibility. I really admire those people who never cared about my status in life all they cared for is my value to them.

I never had time for outside friendships; I am busy working out family’s friendship. My priorities went out right. I am glad to still have friends outside the home despite the fact. Meeting my batchmates for a reunion will let me rekindle memories. At the same time, it will give me the chance to know them and establish friendship, which is now more meaningful because we are emotionally mature.

I am not bitter about all these. I never regret any of those. No, not at this point. Maybe I do when I still bear a child’s heart, when still I clamor for “freedom” when I fact I just envy them.

Fruit of my youthhood resulted to stronger ties with my siblings and family. I can never repay those times that I was with them. I treasure moments when I myself witness the sacrifices that each one gave to sustain the family materially. Friends come and go but the family remains. Did I lost my youthhood? Yes, maybe but not my family.

2007-09-13T23:53:00.000-07:00

ALANIS MORISSETTE LYRICS

"Thank U"

how bout getting off these antibiotics
how bout stopping eating when I'm full up
how bout them transparent dangling carrots
how bout that ever elusive kudo

thank you india
thank you terror
thank you disillusionment
thank you frailty
thank you consequence
thank you thank you silence

how bout me not blaming you for everything
how bout me enjoying the moment for once
how bout how good it feels to finally forgive you
how bout grieving it all one at a time

thank you india
thank you terror
thank you disillusionment
thank you frailty
thank you consequence
thank you thank you silence

the moment I let go of it was the moment
I got more than I could handle
the moment I jumped off of it
was the moment I touched down

how bout no longer being masochistic
how bout remembering your divinity
how bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
how bout not equating death with stopping

thank you india
thank you providence
thank you disillusionment
thank you nothingness
thank you clarity
thank you thank you silence
[ www.azlyrics.com ]

2007-09-13T23:03:00.001-07:00

ALANIS MORISSETTE LYRICS

"Head Over Feet"

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

[ www.azlyrics.com ]

2007-09-13T22:59:00.000-07:00

ALANIS MORISSETTE LYRICS

"Ironic"

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

[ www.azlyrics.com ]

2007-09-13T22:57:00.000-07:00

ALANIS MORISSETTE LYRICS

"Hand In My Pocket"

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five
I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette
And what it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign
I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chickenshit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
And what it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab

[Harmonica solo]

[ www.azlyrics.com ]

2007-09-04T22:05:00.000-07:00

Lord why am i going through what am i going through right now? it seems i am losing the horizon. You are pointing me to lead others but why can't i lead myself? i know that all things work for the good of those who love You, i am holding on to that promise. I know You keep your promises.

Lord can you please cause me to hold a little more and be a little patient with life? during these times i don't need dream stealers and brain corruptors. Lord can You please lead to people who will teach me to love You in spite of and despite of? Lord can You please shut my ears to the whispers of dream stealers and mind corruptors?

Lord cause me to maintain a positive outlook in life. i am so overwhelmed with my life today and i must admit i am so vulnerable. caused me to put on the armor of life and press on to the job that You have commissioned me. Remind me always that "You must become greater and I must become less". may i also be reminded that "to live is Christ and to die is gain."

in the midst of this temporal universe caused me to focus on eternity. protect me from all kinds of temptations and cause me to flee from temptations. i submit my thoughts to You for i know all my sinful tendencies dwell in my mind. cover me with Your blood that i may present my self worthy.

IN THE ABSENCE OF GRAVITY

2007-09-04T21:45:00.000-07:00

i am in a very devastating point in my life.
i am reduced into a very materialistic view point
i get so dumb and lonely
nothing amaze me anymore

i let feelings overpower me
i go where my sensations lead me
i am a prisoner
a captive of my own destruction

i am totally dispersed
and i am having difficulty to unify myself
i can't contain it
i fail to gravitate

i long to be stabilized
i have to, it's a must
it's getting late
i'm running out of time

FORGIVING

2007-09-04T01:24:00.000-07:00

I have been watching Spiderman sequels. I rarely watch a film on the silver screen. I am not choosy on films but I treasure almost every peso I spend because I am very particular with my financial stewardship since I was raised in scarcity. Every time I enter a cinema for a movie I see to it that the memory of my stay will linger.

Spiderman sequel is one of those films that I really wanted to spend time with. The story is not just about heroism. It is a story of wisdom; a film with a life of its own.

Since I watched Spiderman sequel I look forward to Spiderman III to come summer of 2007 due to the observed show date of the first two; and it did not fail me. I really waited for the show date, only to find out that I can not afford to watch my much-awaited film. It was shown for a month yet chance was so scarce.

Fortunately, last August 27, I was able to watch it. Late but just in time… in time with what I am going through right now.

Spiderman III is a story of friendship and forgiveness. So far, it’s the best.

Sorry, a common term for all. Its familiarity supersedes its meaning. We say sorry to, originally, ask for forgiveness but nowadays sorry conveys compliance, maybe to social norm; it’s ought to be done; thus, the essence of forgiveness was robbed. Following this path, the current condition may breed bitterness because the act lacks sincerity and truthfulness.

The word sorry is commonly responded it’s OK or its fine, which may symbolize vagueness.
Spiderman’s release of forgiveness brought freedom to Sandman. Although, Sandman did not directly beg for forgiveness (meaning did not say sorry) the expression of remorse was sincere and it touches the soul.

I envy the scene. Sometimes, the perceived shallowness of the mistake makes asking for forgiveness compliance to the prevailing norm and the response was literally a response. Asking for forgiveness and releasing forgiveness are the two most difficult things to do in life, especially when the situations have devastated the inmost being; events that caused bitterness, resentment and/or anger. Nevertheless, asking for and releasing forgiveness brings freedom and empowerment to an individual.

I SEE MYSELF (click to view video)

2007-09-03T21:25:00.001-07:00

DOES ANYBODY HEAR HER?
by Casting Crown

She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we've never even met her

If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we've never even met her

Never even met her

Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
Or does anybody even knows she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me

Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
Does anybody even know she's going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?

He is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction

what a reflection of who am i. it's exactly what i feel; and exactly what others feel.

GINISING NG KALIKASAN

2007-08-28T02:26:00.000-07:00

isang malakas na kulog ang pumunit sa aking pagmumuni-muni. pakiwari ko ba'y tumagos ito sa aking kaluluwa ginising ang aandap-andap kong isipan...

aking napagtanto buti na lamang ako ay nasa silungan. pano na sila?silang ang silungan ay ang kalagitnaan ng ulan.

I AM HIS (click to view video)

2007-07-19T11:26:00.001-07:00

CASTING CROWNS LYRICS

"Who Am I"

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

My heart's desire is to bring glory to my life giver. Praise God, for He chose me. He can choose you to. He is waiting.

LOVE SONG (click to view video)

2007-07-16T03:28:00.000-07:00

I PROMISE
(Jaci Velasquez)

Lord You know my heart
And all my desires
And the secret things
I never tell
Lord You know them well

Though I maybe young
I see and understand
That at time like sheep
We go astray
And things get out of hand

CHORUS:
So I promise to be true to You
To live my life in purity as unto You
Waiting for the day
Till I hear You say
" Here is the one I have created,
Just for you."

Until then Oh, Lord
I will be content
Knowing that true love will come someday
It will only come from You

Cause I have seen
The suffering that loneliness can cause
When we choose to give our love away
Without a righteous cause

(REPEAT CHORUS)

Engagement in a romantic relationship is an emotional investment that we cannot easily take back. If we fail, we can only shed tears but the pain it causes will continually remind us.

I love loving, it's one of the noblest things an individual can do. But i hate the pain it brings when we don't deserve the experience.

ON CULTURAL SENSITIVITY

2007-07-16T00:06:00.000-07:00

Coming across this very image I felt so furious.

This person, whoever he is, happen to view my Friendster profile, looking at his displayed picture my curiosity was fueled that led me enlarge the image just to totally see the whole thing. The man seems so overjoyed with what he is doing. And to top it all, he commented: "xenxa na- nadala ako weh!(sorry, i was carried away). For verification check on: http://www.friendster.com/photos/30566064/0/412769083

This place is in Baguio City, which happened to be situated near our office. The man is apparently a tourist, a visitor in one of the most culturally rich place in the Philippines. A place where many have considered a hub, especially during summer due to its low temperature and other appealing tourists' spots.

Maybe most tourist have viewed Baguio only as a vacation place. An area of freedom where nobody knows them and they can do everything that they wanted. But not to us who have dwelt here for a relevant period of time and who have learned to respect Cordilleran culture, which is totally unknown to us.

Unfortunately, the statue that the man is trying to disrespect represents a particular group here in the Cordillera region. In Baguio, these statues are symbols that earn respect. They represent people who have labored to defend and live out their culture.

I am writing to call sensitivity for all of us, especially those who visit other places. Yes, we have all the liberty to go anywhere so long as our capabilities allow us. But nobody can ever stand up and say that we have the freedom to rob due respect.

We are all humans, bestowed with minds driven by rationalities. This is never new to all of us, we only need somebody to get so furious and serve as a reminder.

THE LIFE OF COFFEE I HAD

2007-07-10T19:09:00.000-07:00

i started drinking coffee when i get to college because they say it awakens. then, i got hooked and i am leading others to get hooked as well.

i still remember i used to nag my mom about coffee drinking because she drinks a lot. but now, i already surpassed her coffee drinking ability. the average i could is four cups in a day all having teaspoonful per batch and i rarely drink water.

my brothers used to chat about my coffee drinking behavior. i somehow sense that the family is alarmed about the coffee drinking behavior.

nevertheless, i can't stop drinking coffee because i treasure the memories brought by coffee drinking. coffee is my witness to the relatively saddest and happiest points of my life. i also used coffee as a vessel in my relationship building.

yes, i have influence many to drink coffee but at the same time my influence went beyond that. as we enjoy sipping our coffee, we enjoy the moment together. we enjoy the time as we share life. we enjoy the coffee as we savor the passing of time.

many says coffee is bad. maybe i should agree but whenever the thought of those relationships and fellowships i made i cannot discount the relevance of coffee in my life. even as i write this, beside me is a pitcher of coffee.

as i sip my coffee, it reminds me to build meaningful relationships that would create an impact in the society. i am but a single individual crying for a battle to recreate because i am hopeful for a better society.

hope i could sit with you with a cup of coffee.

THE MAKING OF A VILLAIN

2007-07-09T21:24:00.001-07:00

What is a villain? Who is a villain? How do we respond as we encounter a villain? How do we perceive a villain? Where do we usually find villains? Where do villains arise? Are we willing to understand a villain my probing at it own circumstances? If yes, how far? If otherwise, why not?

Villain is usually defined this way:

· a wicked or evil person; someone who does evil deliberately

· the principle bad character in a film or work of fiction
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

In a sense we thought of villains in a negative way. We may perceive them as bad, dangerous and somebody to be afraid of.

But have we ever thought of the creation of villains. Have we ever wondered how a villain develops and progresses?

Let me start with a story of a man whom i meet almost everyday. Before our story ends I would like to make sense of his history. Let me hide him in the persona Ronald.

Ronald is a lover. Not of mine but of somebody else. However, his special someone, Melanie, does not seem interested at him. Mainly because he is a happy go lucky guy who doesn't seem to care about his world or no world at all.

Nonetheless, determined to pursue his love for Melanie, Ronald decided to shift his way of life in a , lets say, more directed one. And as other love stories, he has his luck.

The two always had a great time together; they share their inmost thought and dreams to each other, which fueled their relationship all the more.

As most relationships, the two don't spend time in a 24/7 basis of schedule, they still need to proceed to their homes and face their families.

Melanie's family is closed to ideal although her "mother" is just the second wife of his father still their relationship is still in accord.

On the contrary, Ronald' home was not the ideal set up of a home. Yes, there exists a father, a mother and a sister but the interaction, which determines their behavior towards each other, is not encouraging.

Ronald's father is a prominent business magnate. He is well known for his brilliance and success in the business world. He is regarded for his achievements.

Ronald's mother is a woman who chose to stay home. She has of the same position with her husband for she is the Chief-Executive -Officer inside their home. Her major and relevant tasks are to supervise house cleaning, cook, delegate shopping for house needs and wait to all other members of the family who most of the time spends their time outside the home. While waiting for other family members she lures herself in watching telenovelas, which made her a very devoted fan wherein she made transference of concepts in her everyday life. She uses these telenovelas to give advice to other people and most of the time relate the telenovelas to what is happening around. Not bad actually, isn't it?

Ronald's sister is a typical teen-ager. She spends most of her time with peers and she has the latest fads in town. Well, no wonder her father has all the purchasing power.

Ronald, ever since he started expressing his love for Melanie, has become one of the best students in class. Even before that, he used to show great concern for his mother.

However, Ronald is his father's greatest nightmare. All his achievements were not acknowledged. For his father, Ronald is one big mistake of his lifetime. Ronald is a dumb man who knows nothing about life and success.

i'll finish when i get back

REVIVALS

2007-07-03T07:12:00.000-07:00

I would like to reminisce the moment blogging made sense to me.
(click the title)

ROUND TABLE

2007-07-01T19:35:00.000-07:00

We used to have a rectangular dining table. Whenever we eat we proceed to our "proper seat". Our location will depend on who will eat with us. And who among the family members are present for dining.
Many times i get a little confused, because the positions somehow signified a hierarchical organization. I mean you cannot sit there because someone is supposed to be there. The seats represent "power" in a subtle form. We even developed the terms "head" and "tail", upon which complicated my mind all the more.
Lately we were blessed with a round table from a friend. The first time I saw it placed as our new dining table I was so excited. I don't seek to defy hierarchy, (because I never ignored authority, especially inside a home.) rather I desire to escape from the discomforts caused by that rectangular dining table.
The round dining table brought ease and comfort. It has lessen the connotation of power laid by the rectangular dining table. It has maintained equality not in authority nor power but in enjoying meal due to the comfort and ease.

THE WINNING OF BRUCE QUEBRAL

2007-06-27T02:49:00.000-07:00

Last night (June 26, 2007) was the eleventh eviction night of Pinoy Big Brother. Prior to this event I was contemplating to write about one of their contestants named Bruce Quebral who happened to be so proud of being a UPan (a student or alumni from the University of the Philippines). I believe this is an opportune time for me to write about Bruce because the writing will not be packaged as a propaganda against him, since he is already evicted, but rather an analysis of his joining and winning and its possible implications into the psyche of many lives that are witnesses of Pinoy Big Brother.
I must admit that I did not have the luck of viewing all the episodes of Pinoy Big Brother so as early as now I claim for all the correction as long as the misconceptions of this article. My only purpose is to have an intellectual grasp of the vivid happenings inside the house.
I don't exactly know the purpose(s) of Bruce Quebral upon his entry inside Big Brother's house. I also don't know much about the objectives of Pinoy Big Brother competition. One thing is clear in my mind, contestants represent the Filipinos, whatever value they bring inside the "house". Knowing that many people are watching them not only in the Philippines but all over the world makes their roles very sensitive. In this instance, I want to discuss two very revealing insights of mine.
During the feud between the three remaining girls inside the "house", I saw how Bruce made Wendy feel so special. He's always there to serve as Wendy's comfort and should I say protection. However, due to Bruce's deep affection for Wendy he seemed to forget the idea of objectivity. I saw him becoming powerless, being subdued by his emotions for Wendy. I commend the program for reminding Bruce about this instance.
Last night, upon Bruce's exit from Big Brother's house Toni Gonzaga asked him if his purpose(s) upon entry inside Kuya's "house" were served. (Forgive me if I wasn't able to deliver the exact words). Bruce proudly answered yes to Toni and the manifestation of the achievement was the meeting with Wendy. Though I am not familiar with Pinoy Big Brothers program objectives I don't believe that that is the only reason of each and every individual who auditions for this competition. I trust that there is a deeper reason apart from meeting someone "special" to your eyes that motivates joining in the Pinoy Big Brother Contest.
I was saddened by these observations. Again, I have nothing about this person that I am writing about but I have something with his acts.
How do these observations may affect the psyche of the viewers, especially those young minds who are so indwelt in this television program?
The view on the dynamics, both of development and progress, of intimate relationship will be affected. People will keep on believeing on love at first sight which brings false hopes to people. At the same time, there is a subtle approval on two-timing, since Bruce has a girlfriend outside the house and yet he is deeply engaged with Wendy. This puts fidelity among Filipinos in question. Finally, power relation was very revealing. Bruce being allowed to be overpowered by Wendy in the name of "love". But the real dynamism is there exist a power domination that subdued Bruce Quebral.
More so, the creation and conception of philosophy is also in trouble. For more than one hundred days of stay inside the "house", Bruce simply accomplished one thing, that is to meet Wendy, no more, no less. After all the hardships, the efforts, the tears that you have given up for the competition you will end up telling "I met her"; when in the first place during the audition the psyche was not that. Pinoy Big Brother is an opportunity to learn in life, to achieve personal improvement. What a pity to hear a statement such as that!
The winning of Bruce Quebral would be very controversial not only among the viewers but also to others who will analyze the event.

INSIGHTS ON THE ENVIRONMENTAL PROBLEMS

2007-06-22T17:50:00.000-07:00

My memories are still vivid upon my first encounter with the concepts such as global warming and greenhouse effect. I was just in elementary then, being raised in a public school, the concepts are really vague in my appreciation. I do not seem to fantasize and spend my imagination about these environmental issues.
Nowadays, we notice several changes in the environment like weather, temperature, humidity and other natural occurrences. Since the start of the new millennium we have been inundated with all the latest forecast about the atmospheric changes.
These atmospheric highlights exposed me once again to the concepts of global warming and greenhouse effect. Alliances between countries is observed to combat this alarming situation of our environment. Write ups after write ups comprised most journals, magazines and newspapers to call attention in saving the environment. National leaders, environmental advocates and other concerned social figures could be seen on national television lecturing on how to protect the environment. This prevailing scenario express urgency and alarm to each and every thinking creature on this earth.
I am not writing for us to find out the major culprit in this environmental concerns that we are facing. I am writing for us to reflect on thoughts that are not new to us but neglected maybe because we have so much baggages. I also want to remind us about one thing that I believe most of us overlooked because we are so presumptuous.
I consider my self a social animal. I love places surrounded by people like jeepneys, cafeteria, market place, malls and other places where I could have the freedom to listen to people's expression of their ideas.
During the alarming "emergence" of the global warming and its consequences I was given the privilege to observe a number of reactions from listeners, viewers and readers. Fortunately, I was able to converse with a handful of them. Here are some of their possible reactions:

caught their attention at first then immediately went back to their lives;
gave an inquisitive look;
if the media is not on their language they don't seem to care;
gives a comment like "iba na talaga ang panahon"; or
does not care at all

I don't want to be conclusive to the point of saying that the "common" people do not care with what is going on in the environment. Going back to my previous encounter with the words global warming, there is ambiguity. I believe media is not enough to educate people on the regarding the danger that the environment is going through which will eventually affect humankind. But this is not just the case there is a greater panic that should greatly alarm us.
One of the ways proposed as a combative measure is Proper Waste Management. Campaigns on waste segregation is all around. Many of us are familiar with the words reduce, re-use, recycle and composting. As an evidence, some places, for instance here in Baguio City, the government installed trash cans with corresponding label to manage the waste. Surprisingly, I seem to notice that people, I hope not everybody, cannot manage the trash at all. Every time I walk along Session Road I really look through the trash cans and to my amazement you will never observe the difference among and between the trash cans with respective labels.
These I cannot confine in my thoughts. Sometimes, I see that the case is really fathomless. The trash cans alone conveys a message and the user of this vessel is supposedly a thinking creature. How do advocates expect results in alleviating the environmental condition if "simple" task are overlooked by many? Lucky are we in Baguio because we are in a mountainous area but this does not mean we are spared from the consequences of the global warming. All of us, not even one will be spared, will be victims of these massive atmospheric alteration.

THE SOCIAL CATALYST

2007-06-22T13:07:00.000-07:00

In the book of Ecclesiates it is written.. "Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body." ( 12:12b)

Man is in a continuum in its search for knowledge. Researchers and scientist never retires in digging for knowledge. As they pass away, their endeavors will be kept by their survivors and again the search continues. Books, journals, newspapers and magazines...almost everything has been exposed; nevertheless the thirst for knowledge is unceasing.
But why is this tenacity? After all the researches to come are simply verifications to existing theories; nothing new just affirmation to the folks undertakings. And yet the passion never losses it value.
Some of the objectives of researches are (1.) achieve social order; (2) experience social justice; and (3.) sustain equality, all these may eventually lead to development.
Lucky are we in this generation for much of the explanations that we might need are available to our disposal; just a few minutes of browsing a book, internet or any form of technological advancement that will provide us with the needed data. We are exposed extensively to our rights and people are actually fighting for these rights maybe for preservation purposes.
After all the researches and exposition of results, why are the objectives not achieved? Why society is still experiencing distress?
Going back to what i quoted, indeed, the writing of book is endless; the intellectual discourse is limitless, only the physical bodies will hinder us to press on. But observations will lead us to conclude that all the efforts are in vain. The knowledge are going nowhere simply because goals are not attained.
So why SOCIAL CATALYST? it is an effort to utilize the publication to induced change in the society. Living in a fast paced society we tend to look at published papers simply as commodities; exist to profit us monetarily but not intellectually. Knowing that the acquisition of published articles requires our resources we should respond to them with great relevance resulting into personal and social improvement.
In economics, mismanagement of resources is a failure. We have all the needed resources as far as technology is concerned the problem lies in the utility of these resources. Hence, attainment of research purposes could be touched.