One Day I Will Walk on Water

This morning as I continue my reading in the book of Matthew, I was disturbed by this question: "Why did you doubt?" (Matt. 14:31b)
After having Peter to walk with Him on water, Jesus asked this question. Most of us know this story, this mind blowing story. I am not sure if any of us, who would be at Peter's similar situation, will be totally sold to the possibility of walking on water with Jesus.

 

But Peter was so eager to walk on water with Jesus until he saw the wind (v.30), and his faith was challenged.

The rest of my time I spent thinking about the "winds" (and I hope I can list them down as well) in my life. This led to countless questions that dig deeply in the quality of relationship and fellowship that I have with the Lord Jesus. 

Do I really doubt? When do I doubt? What makes me doubt? Why do I doubt? How do I deal with my doubts?

What are these winds? How do I deal with the winds? Do I really deal with these winds? Or am I just covering up? Or probably escaping from my winds?

Doubting brings someone into a process of choosing to stay or to leave, to get or not, to buy or not. Normally, when doubt sets in we don't buy, we don't get, we change our mind, our choice, our decision, or we abandon all the pre-identified options. Doubt forces us to think whether we are right or wrong. 

There are certain decisions in our life, that after doing them, we still doubt. We may also doubt other people's affection towards us, regardless of the degree or nature of relationship we have with them. Sadly, God is not exempted in this doubting attitude. God who is beyond our senses is always being subjected by us to doubting. 

Unanswered prayers, never ending struggles, failures, abandonment, absence of love; this can be endless. When we are hurt, we push away. When things fall out of our expectation, we push away. When we fail, we push away. When we feel unloved, we push away. When we struggle with our personal issues, we push away. Normal, understandable,probably.

These situations can push or draw us away from God. Considering human tendencies, I can only look at God's love and grace as a way to keep closer and stay in His presence.

I find this an healthy exercise though. Asking about our faith, roaming around the world of my mind affirms the reality and authenticity of my relationship with Jesus. At the end of the day, I want to have Peter's eagerness to walk with Jesus, on water.

To God be the glory.